With the holidays approaching, families will be spending more time together, and much of that time will be rich and rewarding. But kids being kids, many of them will misbehave. Parents, in their turn, may grow exasperated and frustrated.
There are many ways to discipline kids, but hitting them is a bad idea. The American Academy of Pediatrics just issued a new policy statement, its strongest ever, telling parents that spanking or hitting their kids is not only ineffective, it is harmful. They don't allow for any exceptions, stating that
"corporal punishment is invariably degrading."This idea has been gaining traction for decades. In 1989, the UN Committee on the Rights of the Child called for all nations to ban corporal punishment of children, and over the years, many countries have heeded that call. Just two months ago, the Global Initiative to End All Corporal Punishment of Children reported that 54 countries around the world have banned spanking in all settings, including the home.
Nonetheless, the average American still thinks spanking is a good idea. A few years ago, FiveThirtyEight reported that 70% of U.S. adults still agreed that "it is sometimes necessary to discipline a child with a good, hard spanking." This was an improvement over 1986, when 84% of adults agreed with that sentiment, but we obviously have a long way to go.
Even worse, corporal punishment in school is still permitted in 19 states, as described in a study by Elizabeth Gershoff and Sarah Font earlier this year. These states are primarily in the southern U.S., with the top offenders being Arkansas, Mississippi, and Alabama, where over 50% of the schools still use corporal punishment. In these schools, as Gershoff and Font write,
“a teacher or administrator typically administers corporal punishment by using a large wooden board or 'paddle' to strike the buttocks of a child.”Perhaps it's no coincidence that the schools in those states rank among the 10 worst in the nation: Arkansas is 42nd, Alabama is 43rd, and Mississippi is 48th.
The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) report warns of multiple harms that come from corporal punishment, including:
- "spanking ... is associated with outcomes similar to those in children who experience physical abuse;
- experiencing corporal punishment makes it more, not less, likely that children will be defiant and aggressive in the future;
- corporal punishment is associated with an increased risk of mental health disorders and cognition problems."
The AAP report also includes warns that verbal abuse, including any language "that causes shame or humiliation," can be as harmful to children as physical punishment.
Why would violence against a child ever be a good idea? The answer is simple: it never is. Children, especially younger children, cannot understand that a thrashing is intended to send a message about their behavior. Instead, they often think that their parent is angry at them (and sometimes they're right), which in turn makes them fear their own parents.
Parents do need to discipline their children at times, as anyone who's had kids will know. Parents who want guidance can visit the AAP's parent-focused website, healthychildren.org, where they offer alternatives to spanking, for both younger and older children.
Many parents think that spanking works, because they were spanked and turned out okay. That might be true for some, but it's not true for everyone. The AAP report cites nearly 100 studies showing that spanking doesn't work.
So don't hit your kids–and if you're in one of the 16 states that allow schools to hit them, contact your local school district and ask them to change this outdated and abusive practice.